did you get engaged???
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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