epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
