i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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