people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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