This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
