Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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