It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
