You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
