There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
