He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
