i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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