the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"