This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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