So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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