I wannas sexs uuuuu
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
my being single is dangerous.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
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Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.