We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
