If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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