so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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