i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
