My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
