I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
