Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
