ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
