I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
