i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
