i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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