No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
