it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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