I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
