When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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