I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
