so that wasnt chicken after all
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
