Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!

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  (313): lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club (810): I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds (810): Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies! http://tfl.nu/l421
  Replies (5) Good night (1282) Bad night (496)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.

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  (912): I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night. http://tfl.nu/zcqt
  Replies (22) Good night (3038) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.

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  (954): I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs. http://tfl.nu/kpvs
  Replies (37) Good night (1659) Bad night (3508) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail

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  (845): For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail http://tfl.nu/lqnd
  Replies (6) Good night (4129) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.

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  (207): no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod. http://tfl.nu/vf6z
  Replies (29) Good night (1321) Bad night (8217) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed

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  (617): i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed http://tfl.nu/c1fn
  Replies (7) Good night (4522) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom

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  (423): If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom http://tfl.nu/66s8
  Replies (32) Good night (1543) Bad night (4675) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..

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  (270): they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out.. http://tfl.nu/o5dk
  Replies (19) Good night (5505) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.

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  (315): He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again. http://tfl.nu/0egr
  Replies (13) Good night (5471) Bad night (1788) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.

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  (970): Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line. http://tfl.nu/60ef
  Replies (5) Good night (1470) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.

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  (210): you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug. http://tfl.nu/nztu
  Replies (8) Good night (2449) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  He better not be in your backpack

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  (707): He better not be in your backpack http://tfl.nu/rf3m
  Replies (6) Good night (687) Bad night (266) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.

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  (937): The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you. http://tfl.nu/7sfe
  Replies (3) Good night (512) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.

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  (302): As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial. http://tfl.nu/egux
  Replies (4) Good night (1485) Bad night (259)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

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  (301): Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke? http://tfl.nu/hphp
  Replies (10) Good night (972) Bad night (340) Order T-Shirt

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