Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?