I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.