My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
