Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
