That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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