there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
