cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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