My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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