Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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