Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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