I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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