Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
