I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
