i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
