Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
