Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
