When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
porn star boner night. come get it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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