Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
