I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
