She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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