Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize