Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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