apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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