so explain again why im purple
no
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
