The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
