so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
