My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
