I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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