I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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