So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize