i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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