Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
