no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
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you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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