There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
